I don't think I'm gonna go to Tampa anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to Tampa anymore
I don't know what it's like to land and not race to our door
I don't think I'm gonna go to Tampa anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to Tampa anymore
I'm not sure that I really ever could
Hold on to the room key in your bedroom neighborhood
With me sleep walking in Carrolwood
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cause I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
So I don't think I'm gonna go to Tampa anymore
I dont think I'm gonna go to Tampa anymore
Get lost on the boulevard at night
Without your voice to tell me I love you, take a right
The ten and the two is the loneliest sight
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cause I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cause I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there, see you there
I think I'm gonna stay gonna stay, gonna stay in the grey, think i'm gonna stay
All the street lights say nevermind nevermind
All the canyon lines say nevermind
Sunset says we see this all the time, nevermind never you mind
Where ever I go
What ever I do
I wonder where I am in my relationship to you
Where ever you go
Where ever you are
I watch your life play out in pictures from afar
Where ever I go
What ever I do
I wonder where I am in my relationship to you
Where ever you go
Where ever you are
I watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar
I dont think I wanna go to Tampa anymore.
"John Mayer, Tampa version"
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Monday, May 4, 2009
My Life Would Suck Withoooout You!
I don't have insomnia.
But I can't sleep.
I absolutely cannot seem to turn my mind off.
Even the simplest of topics are keeping me awake.
I had a dream last night that reminded me of a sci-fi movie, probably the most intricate, the coolest dream I've ever had. When I woke up I typed it into my blackberry so I didn’t forget it. Then I went back to sleep and forgot it. That annoys me.
My computer shut down yesterday because I left it unplugged too long and for the life of me, I could not remember my login and password... Until like two hours ago. That annoyed me.
Last time I wrote a blog, I was completely restless. Tonight, I'm in the same mood. But it's not restlessness mixed with regret as it once was; it is restlessness mixed with determination to act.
The last time I wrote a blog, I was angry with myself for continuously making excuses for not completing my goals. I spent over two hours writing, and have now completed 23 pages of what I hope will become a published novel. Someday. Not anytime soon. Since that night, I've only tweaked the story somewhat, but I have quite a bit of inspiration and some serious research to do. Technically speaking, my writer's block is over. And for that I am thankful. But there are, of course, other reasons to be restless.
I am restless over the fact that the goals I started in to write down in January have still yet to be composed.
Regardless of goals, it is time to talk about “change,” as our President states.
“Two paths diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled, and it made all the difference.”
I came to Ohio because I had a change of heart, even though I had wanted to attend Ohio State since my sophomore year in high school. It was a brilliant change, and nevertheless, it made all the difference. Proposed with the opportunity of packing up my life and moving to Brazil’s pride land to practice martial arts, I convinced myself to turn it down, and oh man was it second guessed.
Two years from that decision to date, I have acquainted myself to the state of Ohio and her lovely weather. My Aunt asked me if I would come to Ohio versus moving to Brazil so that I may finish my education, opposed to traveling to a foreign country and losing sight of my family.
She did not ask this because it's a burning desire for her to have the idea of caring for a child in her life, but because she knows I lived my whole life with commotion and life just doesn't seem the same without order.
Determined not to follow in my father’s footsteps, I dived right in to the sea of opportunity that borders Columbus, because the thought of education and a college diploma sufficed and was all it took.
I'm not sure about a lot of things. According to the assistant coach here at Ohio State, I may not have a job next year. According to my parents and my brothers and sisters, New Port Richey is the pits and they all want out. According to my martial arts instructor, we should live [someday] in Brazil where we can train and surf.
I don't know a lot of things, or what the future will bring, and I don't want to waste my days trying to figure everything out.
All I know is that even in the lowest economic time, even when things are extremely unstable, even when the tiniest work-related problems or technological glitches will have me awake at night, even when I'm not the best Christian, or the best son, or the best nephew, or someday, the best father, life has to go on.
It's too short not to live.
Life is full of “change.”
But I can't sleep.
I absolutely cannot seem to turn my mind off.
Even the simplest of topics are keeping me awake.
I had a dream last night that reminded me of a sci-fi movie, probably the most intricate, the coolest dream I've ever had. When I woke up I typed it into my blackberry so I didn’t forget it. Then I went back to sleep and forgot it. That annoys me.
My computer shut down yesterday because I left it unplugged too long and for the life of me, I could not remember my login and password... Until like two hours ago. That annoyed me.
Last time I wrote a blog, I was completely restless. Tonight, I'm in the same mood. But it's not restlessness mixed with regret as it once was; it is restlessness mixed with determination to act.
The last time I wrote a blog, I was angry with myself for continuously making excuses for not completing my goals. I spent over two hours writing, and have now completed 23 pages of what I hope will become a published novel. Someday. Not anytime soon. Since that night, I've only tweaked the story somewhat, but I have quite a bit of inspiration and some serious research to do. Technically speaking, my writer's block is over. And for that I am thankful. But there are, of course, other reasons to be restless.
I am restless over the fact that the goals I started in to write down in January have still yet to be composed.
Regardless of goals, it is time to talk about “change,” as our President states.
“Two paths diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled, and it made all the difference.”
I came to Ohio because I had a change of heart, even though I had wanted to attend Ohio State since my sophomore year in high school. It was a brilliant change, and nevertheless, it made all the difference. Proposed with the opportunity of packing up my life and moving to Brazil’s pride land to practice martial arts, I convinced myself to turn it down, and oh man was it second guessed.
Two years from that decision to date, I have acquainted myself to the state of Ohio and her lovely weather. My Aunt asked me if I would come to Ohio versus moving to Brazil so that I may finish my education, opposed to traveling to a foreign country and losing sight of my family.
She did not ask this because it's a burning desire for her to have the idea of caring for a child in her life, but because she knows I lived my whole life with commotion and life just doesn't seem the same without order.
Determined not to follow in my father’s footsteps, I dived right in to the sea of opportunity that borders Columbus, because the thought of education and a college diploma sufficed and was all it took.
I'm not sure about a lot of things. According to the assistant coach here at Ohio State, I may not have a job next year. According to my parents and my brothers and sisters, New Port Richey is the pits and they all want out. According to my martial arts instructor, we should live [someday] in Brazil where we can train and surf.
I don't know a lot of things, or what the future will bring, and I don't want to waste my days trying to figure everything out.
All I know is that even in the lowest economic time, even when things are extremely unstable, even when the tiniest work-related problems or technological glitches will have me awake at night, even when I'm not the best Christian, or the best son, or the best nephew, or someday, the best father, life has to go on.
It's too short not to live.
Life is full of “change.”
Monday, April 13, 2009
Blog Prompt #1
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentless self-improving business owner born and raised in the streets of Miami, Florida with a low tolerance level and a penchant for money. My mother was an eighteen year old bar tender who longed for her knight and shining armor to sweep her off of her feet, and now to this day is a pastor of one of the biggest non-denominational churches in America. My childhood was nothing close to ordinary, pulled out of the public school system after one year in kindergarten because my mother did not agree with the public school system and the media that was influencing me at such a young age. I began to be homeschooled from first grade through sixth grade along with my other at the time six siblings, shipped to a private Christian based school for seventh & eighth grade, beginning my high school career into a first year charter school, and concluding tenth through twelfth grade in a public school.
In the summer and when not in school, I would exhort myself to simultaneously juggle three jobs. When I was insolent I was stripped of all additional benefits, such as, driving privileges, cell phone usage, contact with my peers, and sentenced to solitary confinement in my room to write for hours upon hours on pieces of paper why I would never do again what I did, and if that was not the tool it would be to rake and bag leaves from the yard, pretty standard really. Now being one of nine children, my role model position has been amplified to a greater degree, especially over the fact that I am the first born son.
My parent’s attention level for me was very short, because it was my other seven younger siblings that needed the nurturing and care. While growing up, media to me would be the people around me. I looked to my teachers as role models and read books that they told me to. I specifically remember a book that my ninth grade State Representative teacher gave me after the year was over, and he handed it to me in front of the entire congregation while crying his eyes out. The book was titled “David” by Charles Swindoll and inside was a little inscription that said, “AJ, you have a very special gift, make sure you use it wisely, just like David did.” I based the rest of my life on that time of my life. I started playing sports at a young age, but did not compete until tenth grade of high school. Old highlight videos from prior years would influence me to a great degree, how to walk, how to compete, and that sort of thing. It wasn’t until I ventured out on my own to college in a separate state that I began to be exposed to much larger things in this world. The church was where I spent most of my time, while being homeschooled, and while attending three five services a week. The Church life translated into learned habits, morals and values that carry me to this day.
If it were not for the fact that this blog is due in four minutes, and the two people beside me in this study hall weren’t talking amongst themselves as if they were the only people in the room this would be a much more organized blog entry, so my apologies…looking forward to the next.
In the summer and when not in school, I would exhort myself to simultaneously juggle three jobs. When I was insolent I was stripped of all additional benefits, such as, driving privileges, cell phone usage, contact with my peers, and sentenced to solitary confinement in my room to write for hours upon hours on pieces of paper why I would never do again what I did, and if that was not the tool it would be to rake and bag leaves from the yard, pretty standard really. Now being one of nine children, my role model position has been amplified to a greater degree, especially over the fact that I am the first born son.
My parent’s attention level for me was very short, because it was my other seven younger siblings that needed the nurturing and care. While growing up, media to me would be the people around me. I looked to my teachers as role models and read books that they told me to. I specifically remember a book that my ninth grade State Representative teacher gave me after the year was over, and he handed it to me in front of the entire congregation while crying his eyes out. The book was titled “David” by Charles Swindoll and inside was a little inscription that said, “AJ, you have a very special gift, make sure you use it wisely, just like David did.” I based the rest of my life on that time of my life. I started playing sports at a young age, but did not compete until tenth grade of high school. Old highlight videos from prior years would influence me to a great degree, how to walk, how to compete, and that sort of thing. It wasn’t until I ventured out on my own to college in a separate state that I began to be exposed to much larger things in this world. The church was where I spent most of my time, while being homeschooled, and while attending three five services a week. The Church life translated into learned habits, morals and values that carry me to this day.
If it were not for the fact that this blog is due in four minutes, and the two people beside me in this study hall weren’t talking amongst themselves as if they were the only people in the room this would be a much more organized blog entry, so my apologies…looking forward to the next.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Shaped out.
How is success measured in the game of life?
It is measured not in the way the bumper sticker says,
"The one with the most toys at the ends wins," but by happiness.
The word happiness is used very generally here.It implies that whatever an individual's goals are--peace, serenity, religious devotion, self-esteem, or the well being of others--the more one has of what one desires, the better off one is.
It is measured not in the way the bumper sticker says,
"The one with the most toys at the ends wins," but by happiness.
The word happiness is used very generally here.It implies that whatever an individual's goals are--peace, serenity, religious devotion, self-esteem, or the well being of others--the more one has of what one desires, the better off one is.
It must not be you...
Tell me why your eyes wish to be filled with tears, for the optics I wear have no longing to dismiss a shared feeling of emptyness...but rather a bliss Your intentions of the past make my hypothesis want to rewrite itself...is that the excitability I give you, simply brief security?The band-aid on your heart can't help but make you feel thin-skinned, but rather then a twinge do you not think he could be the remedy that your soul longs for?
Join my journey, for it is the washing machine I will take you...
Join my journey, for he will be your hearts content...
Join my journey, for it is achievement you will gain...
Join my journey, for it is your endurance you will advance...
Join my journey, for it is faith that you will fasten...
Join my journey, for it is the Lord that will lead you!
Join my journey, for it is the washing machine I will take you...
Join my journey, for he will be your hearts content...
Join my journey, for it is achievement you will gain...
Join my journey, for it is your endurance you will advance...
Join my journey, for it is faith that you will fasten...
Join my journey, for it is the Lord that will lead you!
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